Ever noticed how the whole
friendship structure has changed over the last ten years or so? In
the good old days (oi! less of the 'old') we had friends, and we
phoned them to arrange get-togethers and nights out. And we all
mostly turned up, and had fun together, and that was the end of that
story.
These days we can live such
segregated lives; families scattered all over the country, The odd
modern phenomenon of 'real' friends' and 'Facebook friends,' relying
on phones and tablets for the bulk of our social interaction. It's
almost as if we're losing the art of face-to-face conversation if
we're not careful to practice and perfect it as an every day skill. I
rarely have phone chats now even with my most beloved friends – it
feels like a big commitment or an activity that needs to be scheduled
because it takes up TIME. It's terrible! I need to just pick up the
phone more! It's also so easy now to stuff our faces in our phones,
to feel suspicious of others, afraid of muggings or attacks; easier
to look down at the ground rather than - God forbid - to smile at a
stranger.
It's much easier (and
acceptable) to give a 'like' on Facebook or comment on somebody's
post, than it is to take the time to have an ACTUAL telephone or
face-to-face conversation. The fact is we need to preserve and
nurture our real life relationships, and even convert online
friendships into real ones (where it feels appropriate) where you
actually meet, get to know each other, and connect. Consider this:
how many of your Facebook friends do you actually KNOW?
For all our talk of
'connectivity,' for all our technological abilities, we have never as
a nation and maybe even as a planet suffered so much isolation,
depression and loneliness. Even my 8 year old daughter is more techie
than I am, and I have to be very firm and disciplined with her in
regards to watching cartoons on Netflix, hence I can easily lose her
down the rabbit hole. How ironic eh? We can click onto our
smartphones and speak to people from potentially all over the world,
all walks of life, and yet, there is an epidemic of suicides and
suicidal feelings, especially in younger people, and older men. It's
so sad. How do we fix this?
To start with we have to 'be
the change.' For example, if we feel lonely - try and reach out to
someone in THEIR moment of loneliness. Message a friend who's going
through a tough time. Buy a hot drink on an icy day for someone who
is sleeping rough. If we're feeling sad and isolated, go to a place
where we feel comfortable and relaxed, like our favourite coffee
shop, and smile at the people who come in. Start a conversation with
the girl who serves you; ask how her day has been. It's amazing how
often people light up emotionally when somebody reaches out and is
nice to them. In return, we feel better connected, AND we've
contributed to the community in a positive way.
If everybody did this –
wow, imagine the ripple effect. Kindness is a revolution that is
spreading and gaining momentum, a rebellion against war and fear and
negativity, and the self obsessed narcissism of social media.
Join the revolution! After
all - it's cool to be kind...
Love ALWAYS,
Karen xxx
